I’ve had a brief period of not blogging of late due to losing my dear Mother unexpectedly. I’ve toyed about writing this and I have drafted it out countless times in my mind and today I have finally decided that perhaps it may help me if I write this and get it out my head.
Initially I was going to write a post about Grief and how much of a bag of shite it is. But as I’m sure anyone who has lost anyone knows, writing about how grief affects you or even trying to put it into words is somewhat tricky. Not because you don’t know what your feeling, but because it changes day by day, second by second. Plus I am not sure that it will help me to write about how deeply sad and angry I am.
So I instead decided to use this short post to honour my Mom. Because she truly deserves to be honoured.
Simply put, my Mom was the mother I want to be. She taught me everything about what it means to be
a good Mom. No strike that. A great Mom.
Always there to offer support and advice and love. Oh so much love. She was classy and dignified and a tad sassy, which I loved. She taught me so much more than just the ride a bike/ bake a cake/ ABCs type stuff. She taught me how to be a good person. Polite. Dignified. I learnt this by simply following her example. Because she was such a good person. Too all she met. She inspired me daily and taught me to follow my dreams. She urged me to write because she knew it is one of my great loves. She taught me that I could be or do anything I wanted to.
She was beautiful inside and out and had style from the tips of her toes to the top of of her always stylish hair. She had the most infectious laugh and I now cherish all the videos in which she is talking or laughing because it makes my heart sing to hear her voice.
She was the greatest Nan and Mother that there could be. Always loving, caring, sensible with advice and fun. She was super talented and always listened to me, she never judged, ever. She always had my back. She loved me so much, to her bones- as I did and do to her.
A true diamond. One that will forever sparkle within me.
I cherish every moment I had with her and every memory she got to make with our daughter. I cherish her love and zest for life.
It’s isn’t until you look back that you realise that you got to witness and partake in someone truly living life. What I mean by that is I look back and think about all the good times (and the occasional tough times) and you see how someone chose to embrace life.
Realising this, it has made me think of a few parts of my life that I can choose to ‘live more’. It’s time to stop worrying. It’s time to relax more and enjoy fun moments.
And that’s what I have to do. Embrace her soul that’s within me. Her joyous side. Her fun, wonderful heart. And her infectious laugh.
And that’s what I’m going to do.
So Mom, if your listening…..
Simply- Thank You.
And to finish I found this wonderful verse that I adore….